I thought I knew how to network.
I’d paid for an accelerator. Practiced the scripts. Learned to “find common ground” by asking about someone’s city or their weekend plans.
It worked well enough to get through doors, but something felt off. The conversations were fine. Professional. Forgettable.
Then I talked to Jonathan Green for an hour, and he completely rewired how I think about building relationships.
Jonathan runs Fraction AIO, where he builds AI automation systems that free founders to spend more time on high-value human interactions. He also hosts The Artificial Intelligence Podcast. But here’s what makes him interesting: he’s a self-described introvert whose favorite hobby is reading, who had zero friends until age 17, and who now networks with unbelievably wealthy people and closes major clients through what he calls “being without intent.”
In other words: He learned to network the same way you’d debug code or optimize a system. He reverse-engineered charisma.
What follows isn’t your typical networking advice. This is for technical founders who thought they could code their way out of face-to-face relationship building, who hate the transactional feel of most networking events, and who want a system that actually works.
Why Technical Founders Can’t Code Their Way Out of Networking
Here’s the uncomfortable truth.
When Jonathan started his first online business, his goal was simple: “I’m going to start an online business so I never have to talk to another person in person again.”
If you’re a technical founder, you’ve probably thought some version of this. Build a great product, let it speak for itself, avoid the squishy human stuff.
Here’s what might surprise you: That strategy caps your growth at a level far below your potential.
Jonathan talks to investors constantly. What he hears from them is eye-opening: “Most of it’s emotional. They don’t invest as logically as you think they do. If they like the person or they catch a vibe, then they’ll give them $50,000 or $100,000 or a million dollars.”
The same pattern shows up everywhere. Promotions aren’t just about technical excellence. They’re about soft skills.
If people don’t like you, it doesn’t matter how brilliant your code is. You won’t move up because there’s always that human element.
The hard part is: This feels unfair to technical people. You’ve spent years building expertise, and now someone’s telling you that being likable matters more than being right?
Not quite. What Jonathan figured out is that networking and social skills aren’t innate talents.
They’re learnable systems. And if you can learn to build a tech stack, you can learn to build relationships.
The Tao of Not Being a Value Vampire
Jonathan’s entire networking philosophy comes from the Tao: be without intent.
Here’s what that means in practice: Most people approach high-value contacts like vampires. They think, “I have one shot with this person. I need to shoot my shot and get maximum value before they escape.”
You’ve seen this at conferences. Someone meets a successful founder and immediately launches into their pitch, asks for an intro, requests advice on their startup.
The interaction is transactional. Single-serving.
Jonathan calls this the “value vampire” mentality, and it guarantees you’ll never build a real relationship.
The alternative? Approach every conversation without an ulterior motive.
When Jonathan met Russell Brunson (ClickFunnels founder) on a cruise years ago, he didn’t recognize him at all. While 10 other people kept interrupting to pitch Russell, Jonathan just had a conversation.
He even told Russell he thought he always wore a sailor suit in photos (he doesn’t). Jonathan confused a polo shirt with a Navy uniform.
At the end of an hour, Russell asked: “Don’t you know who I am?”
Jonathan didn’t. And that honest naivete became the foundation of their friendship and eventual business relationship.
Here’s the pattern: When you approach successful people without thinking “what can I get from them?”, you differentiate yourself from the 99% who are extracting value.
You become memorable. Trustworthy. Someone they actually want to help.
Jonathan never asks Warren Buffett about investing (hypothetically, though he does this with wealthy people he meets). He asks about kids, hobbies, origin stories.
Whatever someone is strong in, he avoids talking about. Everyone else goes after that. He goes after what they care about.
How to Reverse-Engineer Charisma (Even If You’re an Introvert)
Think networking is an innate talent? Here’s why you’re wrong.
Jonathan had no friends until age 17. He’s deeply introverted. His entire personality is what he calls “an artifice,” a learned creation of who he wanted to become.
At 17, he met Nathan Ellis, the first popular person he’d ever encountered who was also genuinely kind. Jonathan spent hours studying Nathan’s patterns.
How he started every conversation with a compliment. How he treated people with consistent warmth. How he showed “forgetful kindness” by giving the same compliment multiple times to the same person.
This observation became the foundation of Jonathan’s business approach. He estimates 90% of his success comes from systematically saying nice things to people.
Wait, isn’t that manipulative?
No. And here’s why: “It’s not that I don’t mean it. It’s that I wouldn’t naturally say it if I didn’t. It’s a learned skill. It’s not fake. It’s a creation. It’s learning, oh, this is how to be the person you want to be.”
The key insight is that nobody compliments men. The bar is incredibly low.
Jonathan recently told a guy who’s a thousand times more successful than him: “I really appreciate you taking the time to be on my show. It really means a lot to me. I appreciate the effort you put in what you said.”
The response? “Oh my gosh.” Instant rapport.
The guy immediately asked if Jonathan takes referrals and said he had projects that might be a great fit.
Jonathan has also written unsolicited LinkedIn testimonials for people doing interesting work. One guy messaged him: “Dude, me and my wife just cried for an hour because I was thinking of quitting.”
Jonathan hasn’t spoken to him since. There was no follow-up, no ask, no business relationship. Just a small gesture that had profound impact.
The hard part is: You have to actually mean it. You can’t fake genuine curiosity or kindness. But you can learn to express what you genuinely feel, which most technical people have been trained not to do.
The Most Powerful Question You Can Ask (And Why People Won’t Answer It)
Jonathan learned everything he knows about business from dating.
He didn’t date until age 27. He was terrified, had no natural social skills, so he read books and studied the structure of attraction like he was debugging a system.
The most powerful question he discovered: “What’s your favorite thing about yourself?” or “If you never had to work again, what would you spend your time doing?”
These questions reveal who someone really is. Not their professional persona. Not their pitch. Their actual self.
However: Nobody wants to answer these questions first. They’re too vulnerable.
The solution? You go first.
Jonathan believes in leading from the front. If he’s going to ask a personal question, he gives a personal answer first.
He’ll talk about his typhoon experience (the worst thing that ever happened to him). He’ll share uncomfortable stories about learning to be social or struggling with dating.
When you share something real, people respond with something real. And whoever’s talking builds rapport with themselves and you. The vulnerability creates connection.
Or put another way: Most networking conversations are performance. Two people performing their professional personas at each other.
When you lead with vulnerability, you break that pattern and create an actual human interaction.
The other crucial element: you have to actually care about the answer.
Jonathan is obsessive about remembering personal details. Not business details. Personal ones.
He remembers more about someone’s kids, hobbies, and origin stories than their company metrics.
“If you ask a question and you don’t care about the answer, someone’s like, my kid is sick, dude, write that down. You cannot forget that because now it’s the most important thing. If you forget that, you reverse the value.”
He uses CRM systems to track: How many kids someone has. Their ages. Their hobbies. Their current challenges.
He admits he’s terrible with names but compensates with tools and by being honest about it.
The framework: Remember what no one else remembers. Ask questions no one else asks. Care about things no one else cares about.
Networking as Seduction: The Multi-Touch Rapport Playbook
Jonathan thinks of networking as seduction. Not in a creepy way. In a strategic way.
The goal isn’t to close in one interaction. It’s to move through stages: Attention → Reply → Phone call → Relationship → Referral/Opportunity.
Instead of traveling to conferences, Jonathan talks to 10 people per week for 15-minute calls. If someone’s boring or not a fit, it’s 15 minutes.
If they’re great, he talks for an hour. He approaches it as farming, not hunting. Plant seeds. Harvest years later.
“Sometimes someone will be like, hey, we talked for 15 minutes three years ago. I have a client that might be a good fit for you.”
Here’s how it works in practice: Jonathan does pre-interview calls for his podcast. These are really screening calls disguised as fit checks.
He talks to almost everyone who applies, then decides whether to feature them.
The surprising part? Most people who do the pre-interview never book the actual recording. They self-select out.
Jonathan doesn’t have to reject them directly. Natural attrition handles it.
For direct competitors, he’s upfront: “Oh, I noticed we kind of do the same thing. Let’s hop in and see if there’s something we can help each other with.”
He diverts to a different type of conversation focused on potential collaboration.
But here’s what shocked me: Jonathan talks to B-tier prospects too. Not just superstars or direct ICPs. People who seem mid-tier, who might not be obvious wins.
Why? “You never know if someone’s going to be bigger later or if someone could be the right person. I’ve met people whose dad was super successful, really well known. And people didn’t know who he was.”
“I was talking to him for a long time, and then someone would talk to him, and they’d hear his last name, and you could watch them change.”
That shift is visible. And disgusting. The person who was dismissed suddenly becomes everyone’s best friend.
Jonathan refuses to do that. Every person gets 15 minutes of genuine attention.
Value isn’t just about immediate ROI. It’s about building a network where people remember you treated them like a human being.
AI Should Give You MORE Face Time, Not Less
Here’s where Jonathan’s business model gets interesting.
He builds AI automation systems, but not to replace human interaction. To create more capacity for it.
“Everything I do in my business is to let people spend more time doing this part of the face to face.”
His AI systems handle outreach and lead generation. But the second a lead replies, Jonathan (or his client) takes over personally.
The human part is where deals close. Where rapport builds. Where trust forms.
One example: Jonathan built a system for a solar maintenance client. When a solar company declares bankruptcy (which happens frequently), his system finds all customers who filed permits with that company and emails them same-day.
The message: “We noticed your company just went bankrupt. We’re not monsters. We know you’re in a tough situation. We’ll just do maintenance at fair prices.”
Another trigger: 20-year warranty expirations. When someone’s solar system warranty ends, automated outreach offers maintenance before they even realize they need it.
The pattern: Identify high-intent moments where someone just discovered they have a problem. Reach out with empathy, not a hard sell.
Then switch to human conversation to close.
A lot of people approach Jonathan wanting to automate their social media or email. He says no.
“That’s when you’re talking to people. That’s when you’re building maximum rapport. You don’t… everything else.”
Automate the stuff that frees you to be more human. Not the human part itself.
Steal This: Your Networking Playbook for This Week
If you implement nothing else, try these:
The Nathan Ellis Compliment Pattern: Start your next three conversations with a genuine, specific compliment. Not generic (“great to meet you”) but specific (“I loved your point about X in that post”).
Men especially never hear this. The bar is low. The ROI is high.
The Vulnerability-First Protocol: Before asking someone a personal question, answer it yourself first. Try: “If you never had to work again, what would you spend your time doing? For me, it’s [your answer]. What about you?”
The CRM Humanity System: Add three non-business data points to every contact: number of kids (if relevant), current hobby or interest, one personal challenge they mentioned. Review before your next interaction.
The 15-Minute Coffee Alternative: Instead of one conference this quarter, schedule 10 fifteen-minute calls with people in your ecosystem. Focus on B-tier prospects, not just superstars.
Ask them what they’re genuinely interested in.
The Exception Memory Principle: Pick one thing you’re genuinely curious about (jobs, origin stories, hobbies). Ask everyone about it. Write down their answer.
This becomes your memory anchor for each person.
The Anti-Pitch Rule: For your next five networking conversations, ban yourself from pitching. Focus entirely on learning about the other person. See what happens.
P.S. I’m still processing this conversation.
I’ve spent years thinking networking was about “common ground,” finding safe topics like cities or weekend plans. Polite. Professional. Low-risk.
What Jonathan showed me is that low-risk equals low-reward. The people who break through aren’t the ones with the best elevator pitch.
They’re the ones who make you feel seen. Who remember your kid’s name. Who write you an unsolicited testimonial when you’re thinking about quitting.
The small gestures compound in ways you can’t predict.
I’m going to try the compliment pattern this week. I’m going to ask one person “What’s your favorite thing about yourself?” after answering it myself first. I’m going to remember what no one else remembers.
What about you? What’s one networking strategy from this piece you’ll implement this week?
Reply and let me know. I actually want to hear.
Want to connect with Jonathan? Find him on LinkedIn or check out Fraction AIO to help automate your own outreach.
